A True Friend is like a good Bra

A True Friend is like a good Bra

I come offering some titbits about our top bits this week, because a girl has got to share the good stuff with others in life, right?

I went bra shopping in real life for the first time in many years. I have bought my brasseries online at midnight during that shopping witching time zone where what you buy doesn’t actually count. Some mornings I wake up feeling like Alice In Wonderland who has just gone down the rabbit hole and I am not sure if I actually did some naughty midnight purchasing in a half awake and half-asleep state of consciousness.

Anyways, I knew I needed some new bras because there is nothing quite like taking off those torture traps after a long hard day of simply having boobs! A 2o-year-old slip of a young lady was most unhelpful in the department store. She looked at me as if I was a big fat lump of coal and really could not have cared any less about locating some lingerie to flatten some bumps, push up some lumps and smooth out some humps. Surely that is not too much to ask.

Remember when we all were fitted for bras? It was an outing. An occasion. Often a very embarrassing occasion as bossy middle- aged women would bust into the change room and start demanding to look at your bust and sometimes they would even touch the bra (or worse still your actual body) to check if it was a good firm fit. I tracked down an assistant who is in her 60s and who looks like an expert about over-the-shoulder-boulder holders. The bra oracle took me away from the brands I have been smitten with all my life because of their delicate laces and intricate designs and instead steered me to bras I would never have looked at and now I have a new spring in my step and far less bounce in my bosom. I was not even slightly embarrassed 30 years after my mortifying first bra fitting.

There is so much focus on what ageing robs us of when it comes to our physical appearance, but it also gives us plenty more confidence. But the humdinger to come out of my bra spending spree is my size. My cup has runneth over for many decades and my newfound friend tells me 99% of women are wearing the wrong size bra.

So, girls, go get your girls fitted. A true friend is just like a good bra: it doesn’t stab you in the back and lifts you up when you need supp