Life’s Big Questions Answered

Life’s Big Questions Answered

Well, it has been a trip down memory lane this week with a life-long question finally answered for me. I have pondered this question for 45 years. And now, I have the solution. It is not a question about life after death or how we came about in the first place.

The question that has long plagued me is what the heck is that thing called Grimace at McDonalds. You know what I mean? Or who I mean? The big purple blob-like character with a big grin on his face often seen hanging out with Ronald McDonald and Hamburglar? Well, finally we have an answer as to what the heck Grimace actually is so next time we go to the Golden Arches we can fill quite smug in our superior knowledge.

That big anthropomorphic purple thing is in fact meant to be a huge taste bud. One of the big wigs (or should I say Big Macs) at the corporation explained in a TV interview in America this week that Grimace is a taste bud. What the? I am still very confused. Perhaps the good folk at the fast food outlet were drunk all those decades ago when they decided to create a giant purple taste bud.  But I am equally relieved to have confirmation after all these decades feeling bewildered by the blob. As a child I thought he was a purple chicken nugget. Seems a feasible explanation looking back. Then in my 20s there were many rumours about Maccas including the fact that Grimace represented a big berry milkshake.

Now to solve my other long-held questions: is the apple pie served at Maccas made of apple or choko? And of course the big one we all want to know…how does Jennifer Lopez never seem to age? My friend tells me there is only one solution to this burning question. J-Lo is a vampire. And lastly, why do they only make packets of black jelly beans for sale and ignore the other colours in the pack? This one is above my pay grade and I am unable to answer.

Have a great week and when you see Grimace next you will know he is a giant taste bud. At least in these times of uncertainty we can sleep easier in this knowledge.