Adios, Julia Bishop

Adios, Julia Bishop

Julie Bishop explosively declared she would have beaten Bill Shorten in the May federal election if she had been made Liberal leader in the spill of August last year. Of course the Libs had more drama and infighting than an episode of Married At First Sight and they continue to implode. But I think J-Bish would have more chance of winning the top job than our current Prime Minister.

What is his name again? Forgive me for needing some prompting since we have had a revolving carousel of leaders. Oh yes, Scott Morrison. Julie Bishop has always struck me as a pretty terrifying mother-in-law or female friend. With her immaculate razor sharp glares and pixie hair cut and those Carla Zampatti suits she is not the sort of girlfriend you would sweep all the junk from the week under your couch so you could invite some girls over for a few cheeky glasses of Riesling and a bitch about the husband swapping on MAFS. Nor can I imagine Julie at home slopping around in her flanno pjs while watching Dear John on Netflix and eating ice cream directly out of the tub. Nope. Julie Goodwin? I would love to be her buddy: she would bring self- saucing chocolate pudding and a bottle or two of Baileys. Natalie Bassingwaighte Amanda Keller? Sign me up to be their gal pals any day. And I just know Jennifer Aniston and I would be instant besties and bond over organic t-shirts, bad ex boyfriend choices and great hair style choices.

There are two types of women in life: those who line up their hand towels in the bathroom so they hang at perfectly matching lengths: and those who do not. Actually there are 3 types. The latter does not even have hand towels in the bathroom some weeks because the washing has won the war on housework. Everything about Jules sings class and control. Her hand towels would be a pigeon pair indeed. I have loved the former solicitor’s fashion moments in parliament. Those red shoes when she stood down as the Foreign Minister. Those navy power suits and crisp white collared shirts scream “Do not mess with me because I will kill you with one glare.” J-Bish is a bandit for pearls. Have you noticed she almost always wears pearl earrings and a single strand of pearls around her neck? The former deputy PM pulled out the big guns when she met Hugh Jackman: it was a double strand of pearls. She meant business.

I feel bad letting down the sisterhood by having a go at Julie as I know the 62 year old has been a trailblazer for women in politics in what is no doubt a world ruled by white middle aged men. The politician has been a staunch advocate of working women’s rights and has held her own in a jungle of a job. And just when I thought I could pigeon hole her into being a no-nonsense barracuda she was invited to Karl and Yasmine’s wedding in Mexico. I just find it hard to see Jules doing tequila shots and slices of lemon off the Stefanovic brother’s chests as part of the beach celebrations. It goes to show I should not judge a book by its perfectly folded cover.

– Sami xx