Are you keeping up with me according to my Instagram account?

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Are you keeping up with me according to my Instagram account?

Are you keeping up with me according to my Instagram account?

Because if you play along with me on social media I am only drinking chilled rose as the sun sets on beautiful beaches while wearing boho dresses that are ethically produced in Byron Bay.

My children are smiling perfectly all the time with no food smeared all over their faces and wearing matching socks whenever we leave the house.  I have cute dogs that I walk twice a day in my fabulous looking active wear.

My backside has not been sliced in two thanks to cropping and filters.  I attend formal balls with flawless hair and makeup and I hang out with Bindi Irwin on her 21st and do lots for charity.  My husband looks at me adoringly in photos and the funny bloke I work with just hangs out all day making jaunty little videos with neither of us having a care in the world. My family and I only celebrate birthdays with helium balloons and elaborate tables laden with good dinner plates and silver cutlery.  Gosh, I am positively damn well straight out fabulous! Except, I am not.

My Instagram is not a lie on purpose but I use it as a record for keeping track of the milestones in life so of course I am going to use the one photo of the kids all smiling that took me 128 photos filled with disaster to achieve.  I am happy when I do something exciting or meet someone exciting so I guess I tend to get caught up in the fever of all that and post those pictures rather than me doing the dishes for the hundredth time that week.  And I love beauty so I am always going to post pictures of flowers and lovers and pretty pink things overflowing with whimsy versus the gritty reality of some days when I want to run away to Paris.

Pronto! So it is curated as a highlights real without me even thinking about the flipside of those messages.   But a wonderful article written by Holly Wainwright this month has taken off around Australia as the mum promotes publishing a ‘I don’t’ list on your own social media accounts.  It is all about battling the ‘Superwoman Syndrome’.  I am asked at least once a day how I do everything in my life with juggling family and work.

This implies I am smashing some goals when the reality is most days are a bit of a blur. I haven’t exercised in 8 years.  I don’t usually drink wine in exotic locations but at home in my pyjamas on the couch watching trashy TV.

I am not whipping up amazing home cooked breakfasts in my fabulous active wear before running the kids to school in my environmentally friendly car and then meeting a dozen friends for a soy latte before heading off to impress my boss by arriving 2 hours early to work.  That last one is pretty funny, right?  None of it is happening.  I ice skate through the working week in a blur of happiness knowing that life right now is sweet with a wonderful job and 3 little children who are unfurling like precious flowers before my eyes.  It’s a beautiful big fat mess! But I would also like to keep it real so here is my abridged ‘I don’t’ list:

I don’t make the beds every day.  According to Instagram everyone has peach- coloured  French linen sheets with cane furniture and thriving indoor plants in their bedroom.  Not mine.  The bed is a safe space for the whole family including the dogs and I have a stash of  Vicks next to my bed sitting on top of a million unread kids books, a pair or dirty reading glasses and a box of tissues.  Swanky indeed!

I don’t make the kids go to bed on time nearly enough.  Maybe because I work late or maybe because I like watching Survivor with them and hanging out we never seem to nail an early peaceful night time routine and the next morning when they are tired little troopers I hate myself.

I don’t have a clear inbox.  I don’t grow my own coriander.  I don’t shave my legs very often.

And if I did all this stuff I would be bonkers and possibly be the worst parent in the world because most days I do shower the kids with lots of love and good food and praise.  And for now that is more than enough of the things that matter that I do.

Sami xx

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