Christmas rolls around so fast every year!

Christmas rolls around so fast every year!

Oh Christmas you little minx!
You roll around so fast every year and here I find myself sitting listening to Robbie William’s new Christmas album (it’s great people) as I write my lists of presents for others and a food list that could probably feed a boarding school for a year.  This year I am doing exactly what I said I was not going to do: spending way too much and buying more plastic rubbish my kids do no even need when it comes to toys.
I swore we would do things rather than buy stuff.  I would teach them the meaning of thoughtfully selected and ethically made toys. But I caved.  I have bought too much plastic stuff and melted my plastic card in the process.  I have a plastic heart.

On top of that I have already eaten my body weight in fruit mince pies (my favourites) and rum balls.  My jeans are tight and the festive feasting is still ahead of us. As for easing off the drink, well, that would be a Christmas miracle as it is pretty hard to stay dry this time of year with all the emotions of the year ending and all the parties as well.  The house is decked out in Nutcrackers, as that is our theme this year.

So the 12 boxes (yep) of Chrissy decorations have stayed in their containers, as I had to buy red and green and gold decorations with splashes of tartan to go with my 19 new nutcrackers. My poor husband. I think he thinks its possibly normal behaviour to have a new colour scheme for Christmas every year.  The top of my eldest boy’s Santa wish list for presents a Ninja Turtle Sewer Hide-out.  It costs $200.  Yep. Santa may not be flush enough to buy it this year.  It is a plastic purple sewer with fake ninja rats dressed in ninja clothing.  The other little boy wants a giant Hot Wheels car set with King Kong exploding out of the side.

I think the toy designers are either drunk or on crack.  Where do they come up with these ideas? My daughter simply wants one thing: a dog! We have 3 dogs so a canine is not coming for Christmas.  Her second wish is a snake.  I would take 101 dogs over a single snake.  But they will be getting some toys despite me hating myself for adding to our material things. So bring on the crazy season.  How are you coping? I know I am pathetic so save the hate mail telling me I should buy less and spend more ethically and drink in moderation at this time of year.

I know all this and I would like to live this way.  But I have no self -control.  Seriously. We spend $20 billion in Australia on gifts ever single year with the average amount we spend on a Christmas gift for a loved one sitting on $120.  I will be writing in the upcoming weeks about some amazing charities running Christmas drives but today’s column is purely a first -world -white privilege kind of vibe.

As for my ultimate Christmas list? I have wanted to go to Gold Class at the air-conditioned cinemas by myself since the fancy ones opened at Kawana.  I would like a glass of champagne to start.  Nachos and sliders in between and a big fat chocolate treat for desert.  My second item on the list is for the family meal to be delivered twice a week for 2020.  No thinking about what to cook: no actual cooking: no whinging about how the kids do not like my cooking.

And thirdly, I would like a bright yellow bike with a basket that I could pop my eldest shitsu in as I peddle around Pt. Cartwright on to forget I have melted my credit card on material rubbish.  None of these gifts will be happening.

I have not been good enough all year.

Sami x x x