Are you one of the tens of millions who have watched the new Netflix hit called “Marie Kondo: Tidying Up?”
It follows the best-selling book (with 10 million copies sold and that number is growing by the hour) that sparked a revolution of basically folding clothing as if it is some new Olympic sport of origami-ing your knickers. Okay that is actually not a word but you get that point. The Japanese decluttering expert is an evil genius because she has us all buying her book to get rid of books and all our other stuff. The premise is you only keep things in your life that “spark joy” when you hold them in your hands. I am obsessed with the TV show. Of course I am because I am somewhat of a hoarder. Not that bad type you see on A Current Affair where you cannot see floor space in dark houses where serial killers dwell and rubbish has not been emptied since 1983. No!
My house is light and airy and bright and I certainly take the rubbish out daily but I just seem to collect too much stuff. I have 200 teacups. I have about the same number of rabbit ornaments. Do not ask me how many Camilla kaftans I have, as not even my husband knows the answer to that deeply personal question. Greedy little pig aren’t I just?
I have tried to change and I would like to feel less stressed by debt and the heaviness of ‘stuff’ in our modern world. Well this new TV show is awesome because the perfect Ms Kondo with her perfect straight bob enters houses that are busting with all sorts of strange stuff and she bows and nods and does a polite little Japanese jig when I am pretty sure in her head she is thinking “You dirty Western consumerist slobs! You should burn this trash-can of a house down”.
We then get to see the couples go on a cleansing journey that usually results in some relationship counselling and a break down because no one on this damn planet can origami clothing the way Marie Kondo can do it! The thought of picking up every single item I own is somewhat daunting to ask myself the question if it sparks joy. I can tell you my babushka dolls from Russia spark joy as do every tiny pair of shoes my kids have ever worn. My baby’s first curls, teeth, bibs, booties, overalls and beanies all spark joy and I certainly need to keep every magazine with any member of the royal family on the cover. Don’t I?
I would not be keeping a single electricity bill; the whole dirty fridge could be tossed out along with my spanx undies, the treadmill, the mirrors, and definitely the scales. And ironically the KonMari system does require you to buy more stuff: tiny cute little boxes to store your belongings. These boxes are the new black and they are being sold in all the shops now and come in all sorts of patterns and sizes. While the rest of us are floundering trying to get rid of stuff the 33 year old is accumulating a fortune and her net worth is estimated in the multi millions and it is rising rapidly with more books due to be released in 41 countries and an army of consultants around the globe who can teach you the method of Kondi cleaning to join the revolution.
I am pretty sure I could shock and awe Ms Kondo into the Sami method of cleaning. We have 3 ways to deal with stuff. The first way is to hide it under the lounge. The second way is to hide it under your bed. And the third way is to just put it off for today and settle in to watch Marie Kondo conquer the world by rolling up one t-shirt at a time.
– Sami xx