Cane Toads

Stewed cane toad for dinner, anyone? We have hit new lows when it comes to culinary choices.  And when I say “we”, I refer specifically to a Queensland man, called Ian Bartholomew, who set the internet abuzz after a video went viral of him cooking and eating a cane toad.  My guess is Ian is a closet serial killer. Why would you eat cane toad?

Ian sautés the pests in his frypan with rosemary salt and sits down with a knife and fork and devours a big fat plate of legs from the warty creatures. He has the audacity to wear a linen napkin around his neck which falsely refers to the point he is part of a civilised society.  Hannibal Lector made better choices when it came to his dinner selections.

Crazy Cane Toad man even makes particular gushing references to the toad’s fat little limbs and claims they do in fact taste a lot like chicken.  Excuse me while I am physically sick in my mouth at the thought of eating a cane toad. 

My buddy and chef Tony Kelly (excuse me while I pick up that name from the floor) always tells me you just have to add plenty of salt, pepper and butter to most dishes and they taste like a slice of heaven.  Tony the foodie extraordinaire once made our family mashed potato that would have been at home in the fanciest restaurant in Paris.  Basic mash was transformed into a gastronomical masterpiece.

I got sick of hearing myself say ‘solid passing’ ‘strong defence from the Lightning’ ‘Lightning will take the lead into the break’  owner also whipped up some prawn rolls on the beach one day that I crave to this day.  They were sublime and potentially eating them at Double Island was one of the best days of my life (except when I married you to my hubby if you are reading this dribble). In both cases salt and pepper were the secret key ingredient.  No amount of seasoning could make a cane toad tasty.  It is just adding embarrassment to our mighty state that this cane toad travesty is making news around the nation and the world. 

It is dire enough we have to handle being teased about day light savings, our southern counterparts call us banana benders and everyone thinks we wear thongs when we eat out.  Thanks to this Ian bloke we are all being tarnished with the same brush.  As that saying goes, it just takes one goat, or in this case, one toad.