Edamame Beans

People suffer FOMO (the fear of missing out) but I am at the queen of JOMO (joy of missing out).

I am happiest at home on a Friday night in my pyjamas with dogs, kids, and wine all around me.  But I pushed my own limits and went to an Asian restaurant to say farewell to a gorgeous workmate who is moving on to a new job.

The night was going well until I decided to eat some edamame beans that were on a plate in front of my friend, Mia.  It was one of those situations where one person ordered heaps of food and we all shared. The boss was paying so there really was heaps of delicacies!

Edamame beans are those Japanese stringy beans covered in oil and chilli that you pop in your mouth and squeeze or bite the beans from the pod. The bit that is left is the stringy carcass that is so tough you do not eat it. I popped one in my mouth and was thinking how tough it was when I realised, I was eating from the scraps plate. The edamame had been in Mia’s mouth. I was pashing Mia via the green bean.

Dry reaching, I grabbed the beer from the bloke sitting next to me and had a swig. Then I realised I then had consumed his backwash.

Of course, the bloke next to me is the loudest person at work and announced to the entire restaurant that I had put the sucked-out edamame bean in my mouth. Everyone thought it was a real crack up.

I just wanted the ground to swallow me up.

The last time I was so embarrassed was not that long ago when again I was out this time celebrating a friend’s special birthday. I was dressed to the nines with all my best bling on and clutching my evening bag and wearing my dressiest high heels. The girls went to a pond to cool our feet in the water and I kicked off my heels and stepped down into the pond. There was no step. I just completely disappeared under the water that had been sitting there stagnate for years. I hauled my wet sorry self out of that pond and again just wanted the ground to swallow me up.

So, the moral of the story is perhaps just to stay home on a Friday night.  You can get yourself in far less trouble.

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