Square Pie in a Round Hole

Do you love a pie as much as I do?

A pie is a hug for our soul. A warm way of making us feel we will all find our way in the world if we just sit back and take in the goodness. The only thing I love more than a pie is a pie pimped with peas and mashed potato. A large family pie warms the hearts and bellies of my kids on a Friday night. While I feel I am truly winning in life when sometimes I double down and serve a meat pie on the menu for dinner, followed by hot apple pie for dessert. Pi squared, indeed!

Whenever I visit my brother on the Gold Coast, I feel quite smug on the way home as I look heaven-bound and see the big pie in the sky as I pull into the Yatala Pie shop drive-through and stock up on pie supplies for my freezer. The landmark bakery sells over 3500 pies a day.

My work buddy and I came to blows this week over the humble pie. Toddy insists the best and only pie he will eat is a square pie. I scoffed at this ridiculous statement as we all know round pies are the only shape fit to serve our national dish. What sort of crazy person would actually condone a square pie? Toddy had some twit argument that square pies are structurally more sturdy and therefore less messy to eat. But then Toddy believes in lots of conspiracy theories such as man has never walked on the moon so perhaps I should just ignore his rantings or else report him to our boss for slandering the reputation of pies.

We consume 270 million pies every year in Australia. The national pie awards are held every year and run by the Baking Association of Australia. The Pepper Beef Pie by Country Cob Bakery in the Victorian town of Boronia, was awarded top gong last year and has won for the past 3 years in a row. My dream is to go on a road trip this year and taste the award-winning parcel of pastry perfection.

Pie in the sky. Now that would be truly living.

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